


the moon's little star

by moonvinyl



Series: what defines a home? [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26321596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonvinyl/pseuds/moonvinyl
Summary: there's so many stars in the night sky but there's only one moon. the sky feels so much emptier when the moon is not there and that's how taehyun feels when he's not around soobin. he ached for him in a way that he never said out loud.(or: home is a place that you will find in ways that you least expected it. but it's a lingering presence that you will learn to love as time passes by.)
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Series: what defines a home? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957483
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	the moon's little star

**Author's Note:**

> i missed taebin too much so here we go again with another fic from yours truly. i hope you all enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it ♡

it would be a lie to say that taehyun doesn't love the moon.

since he was a child, he always thought that the moon looked the prettiest when it hung itself along the lines of the night sky. every little thing that the moonlight had touched took his breath away because god, nothing else looked more beautiful than the brush of the moon's glow. taehyun could spend hours sitting on the front porch, staring up at the star-drunk skies.

he thought that stars looked so pretty but they could never quite compare to the moonlight that poured itself along the lines of the sidewalk. for a moment, taehyun could lose himself to the illusion that maybe he was somewhere safe. somewhere that brought him the comfort.

and for years, taehyun loved the comfort of seeing the moon in the sky. he whispers to it like it holds onto its secrets, grasping them delicately with a promise that it would keep quiet about everything that he talked about. all the frustrations he had about his school works, his little disagreements with his family and the exhaustion of pushing through his training—the moon knew about every little detail.

he was so used to seeing the moon amidst the stars drawn across the night sky that when he ran out of the company building and glanced up one night, he felt so lost. he knew that he wouldn't always see the moon but at that very moment, he felt so alone—all he could see at that time was the darkness blanketing itself around the clouds.

"out of all the nights that this could happen," taehyun let out a laugh but it sounded too empty. he drew in a shaky breath, eventually falling onto the curb to take a seat along the sidewalk. he was so tired from practicing and getting yelled at.

of course, he knew that this would be difficult but he didn't know how much it would drain him. he was still so young and he had his whole life set out before him—it wasn't too late to quit, right? after all, it was getting too difficult on some days to pull himself out of his bed and face the uncertainties of the day ahead. 

just a moment ago, before his dance practice ended, the instructor raised his voice at him—he felt so humiliated when his mistakes were written out along the walls, bleeding right through the wood and reminding him that his best wasn't enough.

"is this even worth it?"

"what's worth it?"

taehyun lifted his head, casting a glance over his shoulder. someone stepped right out of the shadows and the streetlight near them illuminated his features just enough for taehyun to recognize him.

_choi soobin._

he knew him well enough. he always took everyone's breath away whenever they have vocal classes together. though sometimes he struggles with dancing, he easily learns the choreography in a matter of minutes—he was on his way to becoming a perfect fit for the debut line-up. taehyun would be surprised if soobin wouldn't be included there, considering the potential that he held in himself.

on other nights, taehyun would have kept quiet and brushed away his words with a weak laugh.

but that night, he felt so lonely without the moon—he felt so, _so_ tired.

"this," taehyun gestured to his sweatpants and his thin shirt soaked in his sweat from dancing the choreography moments ago. a laugh trailed right after his words but it was still weighed down with a heaviness that he couldn't quite explain, "is all of this going to be worth it in the end?"

"define the end."

he watched him from the corner of his eyes as soobin quietly took up the empty space beside him on the sidewalk. he let the silence stretch between them before taehyun gathered the remnants of courage within him to be vulnerable with someone that he didn't really know so well.

"the end—getting to perform for everyone. isn't all of this temporary? everything has to end at some point, right?"

"why are you talking about the end when it hasn't even started yet?"

taehyun falls quiet, choosing to keep his gaze fixated on his thin shirt. his fingers brushed against the fabric, letting one of them curl around one loose thread before he speaks with a soft and wavering tone. 

"am i even going to reach the beginning?" 

"you will," soobin straightened up and reached out, holding out a pinky finger. taehyun only stared at him with a slight frown creasing his features, arching a brow at the older boy. but even then, the smile written across soobin's lips didn't slip away as he closed the distance between them. 

"how about we make a promise that we'll debut together?" 

the younger male hesitated, eyes flickering from soobin to his still outstretched pinky finger. "soobin-sshi, we barely know each other." 

soobin only shrugged his shoulders dismissively, eyes bright under the dark night sky. taehyun can see the fading orange light from the streetlamp reflecting in soobin's irises and for a moment, he found himself becoming breathless for a reason that he didn't know. 

"wouldn't it be reassuring to know that there's someone who wants to debut with you?" 

he swallowed thickly, feeling a little dazed at the words that fell from the other boy's lips. "why me?" 

"why you?" soobin echoed incredulously, a little laugh following right after as he shook his head in a fond manner, "kang taehyun, everyone at this point knows that you're going to make it to the debut line-up. you have so much potential as an idol and honestly speaking? you're made for the stage." his voice falls into a quiet tone, a little too quiet that taehyun would have missed his words if he wasn't listening to him.

"you're going to make it big one day, i know it."

taehyun stared at him for a long stretch of time. it was difficult to wrap his head around his words—here is choi soobin, one of the trainees that held a lot of potential to debut. and yet, he was looking at taehyun as if he was the one who owned that title.

like he was really made for the stage.

"we're going to make it big one day," taehyun reached out and let his pinky intertwine with his as a smile curved upon his lips. "i know it."

(the smile that soobin gave him was so bright that for a fraction of a second, taehyun forgot that the moon was away.

right at that moment, soobin had embodied the beauty of the moonlight in a way that no one else could ever could.)

/

the nights that followed after felt like taehyun could breathe more easily.

there were still those nights when taehyun would stare right past the window in the training room, glancing to see the familiar light reflecting from the moon. he would still find himself leaning against the window, his breath fogging up the glass only a little as he murmured about his day.

this time though, there was a constant in his days. 

soobin kept his promise—he trained alongside taehyun without any complaints. late at nights when the rest of the trainees have left, they would linger behind and wait until the door falls shut.

after that, it would always feel like they've dived into a world that they've made only for themselves.

soobin would always watch him dance, eyes flickering from the mirrored wall to the smooth movements from the younger boy. sometimes, he wouldn't say anything—he'll only stand from his corner of the room and make his way to taehyun, showing him where he made a mistake. his voice was soothing and calm and the moments when taehyun was awfully sure that soobin had reached the very end of his patience, he'll only shake his head before he speaks again with the same affectionate tone.

"you're getting better but i'm sure that you'll be able to perfect it, like you wanted. from the top."

after that, it would be taehyun's turn to linger behind him—watching him dance through the mirror. though some nights, they've exhausted themselves too much that they wind up with a spontaneous vocal practice so they wouldn't have to move around. taehyun paid attention to him more than ever and it would be a lie to say that it wasn't enthralling to listen soobin's voice echo through the walls like a lullaby.

taehyun loves listening to it—he feels like he could spend years just listening to soobin sing like that. 

on some nights, taehyun feels like he has exhausted himself too much that he doesn't have time to steal a glimpse of the moonlight pouring over the sidewalk. he's a little too dazed with thoughts wrapping themselves around his head, reminding him of how drained out he is. 

but it doesn't matter that much anymore. not when soobin is around. 

taehyun had the little habit of telling the moon all his secrets. the raw vulnerability of his emotions and thoughts—only the moon could ever know about them. he just felt like he wouldn't meet someone that he'll have so much trust in, that he wouldn't be afraid to show who he truly is. 

that is, until soobin had stumbled right into his tangled mess of feelings. and very carefully, he untangled every string of his emotion, exposing more and more of him. taehyun was afraid, of course—he wasn't used to this. he wasn't used to speaking out loud his worries to someone without feeling like he's only going to burden him and the other person with his thoughts. 

he spent years tucking away his emotions at the bottom of his ribcage, drowning out every little thought by turning up the volume of the song playing in the speakers of the practice room. but soobin learned to turn off the music every once in a while and hold his hand with a comforting smile.

it didn't take long before taehyun let his thoughts spill through his fingers.

soobin was patient with him. fingers brushing through his dark strands, quietly listening to his worries and doubts. and he knew so well what he needed to say. _you did well today_ are the words that he loved to hear from soobin so much—he said them in such a sweet voice and from the way taehyun looked at him, it's as if soobin had the stars in his eyes.

for a moment, taehyun willingly called soobin as his moon.

his bright, pretty moon—it made so much sense to call him that. everything that soobin touched became so beautiful that it took everyone's breath. even with all the trainees that constantly surrounded them, taehyun looked at him like he was the prettiest that he has ever seen him.

there's so many stars in the night sky but there's only one moon. the sky feels so much emptier when the moon is not there and that's how taehyun feels when he's not around soobin. he ached for him in a way that he never said out loud.

even as the years passed between them, he never said them out loud. it was a secret that he kept buried in the spaces of his ribs.

when they were announced as part of the debut line-up, soobin became so much brighter. taehyun couldn't keep his eyes away from him—how could someone be so bright that taehyun felt nothing but the longing ache to be near him? 

he wanted to be near to soobin all the time. he brought comfort in a way that no one ever could. maybe that's why he didn't quite so hesitate to say, "choi soobin." when he was asked who fits the role of being their leader. the moon shined the brightest, didn't it? it made so much sense for taehyun that soobin would shine the brightest in a starry sky.

the days, months, and years have blurred themselves into a string of memories as taehyun worked so hard to train with the other members. though he grew so fond of each and every one of them, he still felt the strongest pull to soobin. even as they go out as a group, taehyun sometimes would linger a few steps behind, just so he could walk alongside soobin.

he naturally gravitated to him without any words. soobin knows him so well now—they could sit side by side on the couch and soobin wouldn't hesitate to reach out and lace their fingers together. he would brush his thumb against taehyun's knuckles before casting a glance at him with knitted eyebrows and a worried frown writing itself on his lips.

"are you okay?"

and taehyun would tell him. he doesn't hide anything from him anymore. soobin knows him like the back of his hand. or like the lines running across his palm—it felt natural for them to be so closely intertwined like this that taehyun had almost forgotten the time when soobin was nothing but another face in the crowd.

his bright, pretty moon. soobin deserved to shine the brightest, didn't he? he's supposed to be happy because that's what he deserves. 

that's why taehyun was bothered when he caught sight of the sadness written across soobin's features. 

one thing that he loved about soobin is that he wore his heart on his sleeve—he wasn't afraid of being vulnerable. when he's happy, everyone can see the stars dancing in his eyes. when the sadness hangs itself by his heartstrings, he looks a little more exhausted, a little more drained out. though he's still smiling, taehyun can see the aching distress that he carries in his hands. 

taehyun doesn't really sleep well when he knows that soobin is practicing harder just to chase away the lingering sadness in him. 

and so, he pushes himself up from his bed and hastily grabs his phone. he can feel the way his fingers are trembling as he pulls up soobin's contact page, typing up a message. though he likes to pride himself on knowing the right words to say, he seems to lose every trail of thought when it comes to soobin. he wants to comfort him, tell him how proud he is—soobin had gone through so much as their leader and god, taehyun feels like words are never going to be enough to describe how much he looks up to soobin. 

he didn't even realize it but as he glances back onto the message that he sent without another thought, he catches sight of how long it is. and yet, taehyun feels like he still hasn't said all that he wants to say to him. 

just when he's about to type another message, a sharp tone rings through. he hurriedly picks up the call, his breath coming out a little shaky. "hyung?" 

"hey," soobin sounds a little breathless on the other end too. taehyun can still hear the muffled sound of their song playing in the background, making him stumble back to the conclusion that soobin is out late again. he winces at the thought that he may have distracted him from his late night practice. 

"i'm sorry, hyung. i didn't know that you're still out." 

"it's fine." the sound of footsteps echo before it eventually fades away as the song is cut right in the middle. the silence follows right quickly before soobin speaks again though his voice is as soft as ever, "is it okay if we take a walk right now?" 

"what?" taehyun feels the fear grip his chest. is soobin upset with him? he didn't want to make him feel worse than he already did—was it such a mistake to send that message on impulse? 

but there's no time for him to start musing over these thoughts, seeing how soobin has fallen silent over the phone and he's waiting to hear what he has to say. drawing in a deep breath, he steadies the rage of emotions colliding within his ribcage, tightening his hold around the edges of his courage that's left in him. 

"i guess that's fine. let me go and tell manager hyung that i'm going out with you for a bit." 

"thanks, taehyunnie. i'll see you at the convenience store near the company building, okay?" 

"okay." 

taehyun can't get rid of the lingering fear and anxiety that coiled around his stomach. he feels like he's losing himself in his routine of changing into a hoodie and sweatpants before he steps out of the dorm, making sure to send a quick message to their manager like he promised. the red haired boy can feel the cold metallic keys pressing against his palm as he steps out into the harsh bite of the cold night air, unconsciously wrapping the hoodie tighter around his frame. 

every step sends his mind reeling with all the possibilities. but somehow, he always stumbles into a thought that's so anxiety-inducing that he can't help but worry even more. the thoughts that resonate in his head are making him even more confused, more exhausted than ever. 

why did soobin want to take a walk with him this late at night? right after he sent that message on impulse? did he say anything wrong to him? 

he doesn't even have time to breathe out a sigh of relief when he catches sight of the convenience store, quickly losing every remnant of courage inside of him as he sees soobin standing near the doors. he's frowning at the screen of his phone and he looks even more stressed than usual. 

oh god, did he really make things worse? 

"hyung," he voices out a little shakily as he crosses the distance between them. when soobin doesn't notice him, he calls out once again, raising his voice, "soobin hyung?" 

taehyun had always thought that the sky looked empty without the moon. and right now, as he stands on the other side of the street, everything looks so much darker. even with the streetlight near them, taehyun feels like the shadows have edged so close that the moonlight can't even reach through them. 

it takes another heartbeat before soobin raises his head, catching sight of him. taehyun doesn't hesitate to shorten the distance between them, hurried steps that resonate in the empty and still road. 

"are you okay?" 

soobin only lets a second to push through as he curves his lips into a weak smile before he shakes his head. a sigh wraps itself around his words and taehyun feels worse. 

"no, not really." he gestures down the dark sidewalk ahead of them, giving taehyun another smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "walk with me?" 

"sure."

the silence used to be a friend of theirs. it follows them right behind, always lingering on their shoulders. most of the time, taehyun and soobin could let the sound echo between them as they bask in the comfort of each other's presence. 

taehyun wants to do that tonight. but soobin looks too troubled and taehyun wants to do everything he can to take away his worries. 

"can i ask you a question?" 

"of course." 

soobin seems to falter only for a moment before he finally lets the words spill past his lips. "do you really think that i'm the best fit among the five of us to become the leader?" 

it's the words that force taehyun to stop walking. soobin only realizes it a fraction of a second too late, taking two steps in front of him. all that taehyun can see right now is his back turned to him and as much as he doesn't want to admit it, he's a little relieved.

at least soobin wouldn't see the streak of hurt on taehyun's features.

"of course. i told you over and over again that you're the best leader out there."

"i'm not," soobin quietly voices out, taking a brave step of turning around so he could face taehyun. "i want to be someone that all four of you can rely on. the one that you can run to whenever you have a problem. but i don't think i'm doing so well in doing that." the sadness and exhaustion draws itself on his expression and it pains taehyun to see him like that.

"hyung, what are you saying?" his feet lead him closer to the older boy, reaching out to let their fingers lace with each other. a small comfort that taehyun can only give to him right now. "you're the best leader for us. you're the best leader for me." the affection drips from the corner of taehyun's voice as he lets his hands cradle soobin's face, a delicate touch that leaves the older boy unknowingly leaning in close.

"there's a reason why i chose you to be our leader before we debuted. you're the one that brought so much comfort and happiness to everyone that we all forgot our own worries," taehyun leans even closer and he's overwhelmed by the turmoil of emotions within him. the crash of his heart against his ribcage leaves his bones rattling and his breath coming out shakier than ever.

but he needs to say these words. he needs soobin to hear them.

"hyung, you shine the brightest as our leader. you're doing so well and i'm so, so proud of you. i've always been and i will always be."

taehyun had always thought that the night sky looked so dark without the moon. it didn't matter to him if the stars are shining so brightly — he loved the moon.

he loved the moon the most.

and right now, as soobin smiles so widely at him, taehyun feels like the world has fallen back into place again. the moon looks so bright tonight and god, he never loved anything more than this. 

right here, where the moonlight touches the lines of the sidewalk and his heart lies in his chest, he knows where he feels so at home with.

"don't give up, okay? you made a promise that you'll be with me at the end."

"define the end, kang taehyun."

he feels soobin's arms wind around his waist loosely as the older boy pulls him closer for a tight embrace. he laughs, light and easy, as he leans against soobin in search for the warmth that he loved the most.

"the end—" he murmurs, his voice coming soft as he goes back the years. the very night when he sat on the curb of the sidewalk, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. and soobin was right there beside him and made a promise that bound them for a lifetime.

"performing until my last breath—that's the end," taehyun breaks away, leaving enough space for him to hold out a pinky finger with a smile, "this is just the beginning, isn't it?"

soobin lets out a bright laugh as he hooks his pinky finger with his and taehyun finds himself becoming breathless at the sound of it. he loves his laugh so much—he could listen to it for as long as he could.

"i guess it is." 

"we still have to make it big one day. that's why you can't back out from this promise."

taehyun loves the stars in soobin's eyes when he's happy like this—flushed cheeks and laughter spilling from his lips. 

(but he loves the moon himself more.)

"we're going to make it big one day," as soobin leans in to pull him back into a comforting embrace, taehyun lets a smile curve on his lips. 

(he feels so at home with him, he truly does.) 

"i know it."

/

(taehyun had always loved the moon. it's a part of him—such a huge part of him.

but what he never really knew is that the moon looked at him like he's the star. the only star in the night sky. it never mattered to him if there were so many pretty stars drawn across the dark sky—there was only a little star that he loved the most.

and that star will always be kang taehyun.)


End file.
